I Was Invaded By A Body Snatcher

Here’s a short story by a writer you know well. She wants your honest thoughts. Please be nice.

How do I say this without sounding like an incoherent person? How do I perfectly convey the way I feel exactly? The truth is I can’t.

It all began when I started getting overwhelmed by work. I realized I couldn’t keep up with all I used to do so effortlessly. I had to balance my time and effort between my writing and my job and I was falling behind time and really messing up a lot of things. Granted that on any given day, I overwork myself but what I was going through at the moment was overwhelming. I started getting tired really easily and then gradually lost interest to write or do anything else. I fell ill over a couple of weeks and my boss had to excuse me from work for a while.

Then I began to feel this familiar weirdness in my system that affected me, down to my emotions. I had this nagging feeling in my mind to go for a checkup in the hospital to know what was off with me but I constantly pushed it aside, hoping the unease will pass. But it didn’t; so I took matters into my hands, woke up one morning, marched into my bathroom and ran a pregnancy test and gbam! my greatest fear.

I was expecting!

Right there, I became one of my characters but there was no one to write into my script that I wasn’t instantly happy. I walked back into the bedroom and told my husband and he laughed, that type of laugh that actually means, ‘how on earth did this happen?’

I was neither happy nor upset. I was just there. The next day, though, I started to get elated about it and I let myself feel somewhat excited. But the feeling didn’t last long. I got mad at myself, not long after, for getting pregnant. A baby was not in my plans or in my husband’s either. How it even happened was something I couldn’t wrap my head around. Making love to someone for over ten years and not having a pregnancy scare only to come and find yourself in that position out of the blue, made me feel totally out of control. I became depressed and the initial feeling of being disconnected to everything intensified. Friends pinged me, people checked up on me on facebook and twitter but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t respond. I just wasn’t there.

I remember staying up one night and crying for over three hours and getting my husband really mad at me. Everything around me irritated me, including the things I used to love doing like writing.  This didn’t get any better with the ongoing feeling of nausea and pregnancy fatigue. I just really hated myself and my body.

If it wasn’t for my husband, I’d have gone down a steep slope because I’ve not felt this depressed in a while. But he’d talk to me, fight with me, scold me and pray with me. Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, I got better.

I still feel ill and I don’t have that excitement over this baby that has invaded me but I love him/her already. He/she came like the wind and swept me off my stability. They say every pregnancy is different and I totally concur with them. With my first I was so active that on the day I went into labor, I woke up and did some laundry; at the hospital, the doctor thought I was just six months gone because of how fit I looked. But with this, I ache, I’m tired, I’m lazy and I am not the woman I used to be.

However, all the same, I feel I should share this because I owe the people who love my writing some explanation for going away. I owe you guys for not updating my work here and on moskedapages.com, especially Novocaine Knights. I know I have those moments where I feel I shouldn’t care about my fans because they don’t pay me for what I write but hey, I didn’t start writing so that you guys will pay me; I started this blog because I love to write. I started this journey to improve my talent and to get my work out there (and yes to get paid). And although I appreciate you guys being here, in the end, if all is stripped away, including you, I will still keep writing because I was born to do it.

So why not just do it and share it with y’all?

My writing gets me paid, make no mistakes. Maybe not as often here but in other places, and I’m grateful to God for it. Grateful to God for you all. Grateful to God for the baby.

To all those who reached out to me to ask how I was doing, thank you. I am okay. God bless you all.

I won’t be regular with new posts as I used to be but I won’t leave you or forsake you here. My schedule is changing and I’m trying to get into a new rhythm. When I feel better, I’ll let you all know.

Have a great week ahead.

 

Related articles across the web

• Quarter Past One
• Newly Pregnant and Really Discouraged.

Twelve Years

2001…
I met you on a Friday, two days before your birthday. I was just coming back from lectures and I saw you selling Six Foot Plus’ tapes for a show later that week. You were with some other people at a photographer’s stand and you caught my eyes. You weren’t dashingly handsome like I would write in my stories but you stood out with your smile and my world stood still. I could have walked away but a force greater than both of us drew me near. And then you saw me and couldn’t stop staring. You said it was my lips that held you. I picked a tape (even though I already had one at the hostel), made small talk with you and handed you the cash to pay. You said you didn’t have any change and I told you to keep it and pay me some other time. I walked away and almost slapped myself for not fixing a date to see you again but for me, I was okay with that one moment.
But I saw you later that night. I was with my boyfriend whom I was going to dump the next night. He and I were both going to watch some movie at the SUG café as you walked by. I stopped and so did you and we spoke and parted. But I didn’t stay long with him, though. I left him with his friends and looked for you and found you buying a drink. You got me one too and we sat and talked like we had known each other before. You made me laugh that whole night until the wee hours of the morning and I still couldn’t get enough of you. We planned to meet later but God had better plans for us.

2002…
Life and its complications had parted us and we both had the stress of school on our shoulders. I saw you every now and then and we said hi when we knew we wouldn’t sound or look awkward. But I longed to steal a kiss or two…to remember how it felt, to have my heart beating at its regular rhythm again. Then one evening you saw me in school and dragged me away from class in your ususal unpredictable manner. We had dinner and you told me you didn’t like the guy I was with, that he wasn’rt treating me fine. I asked you if you could do better. You didn’t reply. As we walked back to your place, I asked you if people asked me what you were to me, what was I to tell them? You looked at me like I was stupid and said I should tell them you were my boyfriend. I laughed. It sounded odd to claim someone whom other girls were claiming. I refused you in my heart and was torn for it but with a wide grin, I accepted your proposal. We didn’t last two weeks but in that short period, I got you to say the L word and though you later said you never meant it, I knew I had stolen your heart.

2003…
I found you at the department, going through your lecture timetable for the semester. ASUU had just allowed us back in school after six months and many things had happened at that time. I had gotten closer to God, having lost my best friend and experienced a major heartbreak. You, on the other hand, had your own issues but we both had grown a lot. Now tired of the games, we were ready to fall in love again. I watched you for a while as you copied your timetable and then I snuck in behind you and covered your eyes. You didn’t know who it was but the moment you turned and saw me smiling back at you, you said it was a ‘Yay!’ moment. You thought you had lost me forever. That evening you dropped by and we walked to your place. NEPA had done their thing and we were alone in the dark, sharing stories from our lives, filling in the parts we both had missed from each other. You know how it feels when you are afloat, soaring in the wind with no weight to hold you down? That’s how I felt that evening and then in your unpredictable way, you kissed me without warning. And all the warm memories flooded in.

2004…
Foolish thing you did. You missed an exam! In your final year! I was mad at you but I told you it was okay and though you didn’t believe me, you took my word for it. Later, we would sit and talk about how God let it be so you could stay the next year with me. We began to make plans for our future together. You proposed. There was no ring and it was nothing romantic but I said yes. I wasn’t even serious about it but somehow I couldn’t forget the date. It stuck.

2005…
Rough year for me academically with Gwags and all its wahala but you were there for me up until the final moment. I remember nights when it was just you and I in the dark, talking about God knows what. It had always been like that for us and even till this day, we never get tired of talking. That year you took a beating for me too. All four of those bastards were upon you and all I could do was watch. They got what was coming to them later but I still will never forget that you were the only man who ever fought for me. Ah! My first script! You sat me down before my PC and made me type something out. I said I couldn’t write, you said I was a very good writer and didn’t know it. It was you who birthed me into the world I now call my life.

2006…
Here the drama began. I left home to be with you because yes, that’s what young lovers do. They love, they do silly things but sometimes those silly things bear good fruit. We had nothing but the assurance of our love. And we knew we were going to make it no matter how ridiculous it sounded at the time. We were stupid in love.

2007…
Things got bad for us. I was sick, spending most of my time at the hospital at the mercy of doctors. No one knew how bad it was, just you. You saw me at my worst and yet you stayed. Most guys would have left me but you didn’t. You held my hand all through, even as my ailment depleted you in every way. You never complained; you prayed ceaselessly and once I saw tears in your eyes. During the moments I was better, you made me write. It was you and I who sat and created my strongest characters. You taught me how to create a living, breathing world around them. You taught me how to write.

2008…
Our parents didn’t understand. The world around us didn’t get us. It seemed we were going to lose each other, tossed by the waves of opposition. But God held our hands and we did not fall. He made us strong to face the waves. We thought it was going to pass but it had just begun.

2009…
So this was how it felt to be all alone on your own. But we were now adults, we had come a long way, we had grown. You were positive the whole time. I came from a place where weakness was not allowed and where I was not permitted to fall. But you told me falling didn’t mean failure; it meant I was in a humble position to see what I wouldn’t have been privileged to see if I stood tall. Then you would hold my hand and pull me up with every encouraging word. Bit by bit you built in me a strong, confident woman. You made me believe in myself and all I could accomplish. You made me dream again. You made others dream too. They came to you to have you speak to them—to give them hope even when you were struggling with yours—young and old alike. They thought you wiser than your years. If only they saw you when you buried yourself in my arms and looked for strength.

2010…
Things were looking up. Dreams were beginning to come true but my sickness returned and I had to go through the surgeon’s knife again. I despaired, I wanted to give up. But you wouldn’t let me. In the end, I made it and you were there, waiting for me with that sunny smile. That day I knew everything was going to be fine. That day I knew I was never going to leave you.

2011…
We got married. We had our baby. But she was sick. More hard times. And you wouldn’t even let me feel it. You took it all on your back but God is not a sadist; He loves to see us smile and he was about to put an end to all the pain. At this point we were strong enough to ride on raging waves and were humble enough like Peter to say “Lord, save me!” when we were sinking. Finally, we had learnt the secret and we were beginning to see things turn around even when they were not. We had no idea what He had for us.

2012…
That was just last year. All day, I’ve been trying to remember one memorable moment and I haven’t been able to. Not because there wasn’t but because every moment was memorable. You had rewritten what love meant to me and I saw it through many different angles like the times when we would drink cheap wine and get high on it while we played Call of Duty, killing zombies and laughing our asses off like killing zombies was ever funny; or the times you would follow me shopping and form not being interested while you gathered enough aproko gist to fill my ears with later, or the way you started watching Fashion Police and made me a fan too. Then how can I forget how you would make me read out everything I wrote (lazy you), or the smile you wore every time you saw me coming from afar, or how you loved to hold me when you slept at night or your kisses before you left for work in the mornings, or the times when I had a long day out and returned home to a meal waiting for me… Aren’t you a dream, sweetie? I know I can be crazy at times and do things that would make a normal man beat me all the way from here to Egypt but you would look at me and smile and say “na you sabi.” Yeah, you just have your own thing going in your calm and collected manner and I’m loving your swag all the way.

2013…
Someone says I have the perfect man but I don’t think I do. You’re imperfect in every way but you’re the right man for me. I am glad I am alive to see another year with you. God couldn’t have made it any better.
I know you hate that I’m doing this because you like your privacy and all but baby, I am in love and I want to tell the whole wide world how I feel.
I LOVE YOU, OWEN and since the worst has not changed how I feel after all these years, then nothing but great things are coming our way.
Thanks for being there…
Thanks for loving me…
Thanks for making me a woman…
Thanks for making me a mother…
Thanks for showing me what love really is…
Thanks for bringing me closer to God…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE.

KOGA- my former bff finds her best friend forever!

This love story began somewhere in Lagos in 1999. The day was like any other and nothing in the skies indicated that my friend, Fola would meet the love of her life and father of her lovely kids on the road to the place she was going to buy some bread. As she stood, about to cross the street, this good-looking guy walked up to her.

“Hi, may I cross you?” he asked.

Fola looked at him from his head to his toes and the thought running through her head was ‘who was going to cross who?’ Obviously, this guy had not looked at his height before approaching her to offer her his street-crossing services.

Little did she know, the whole street drama was the beginning of a relationship that would last thirteen years.

Initially, Fola was doing what good girls normally do—pose. But finally before the year ran out, she agreed to date him. Now, for those of you who are hung up on these times when girls don’t form for guys unless they’re saying no, let me let you know that in those days, a girl does not just go ahead and say yes even when her heart wanted him so badly. She just had to form. I wonder if those times will ever come back.

Okay, back to the story. As their love blossomed, Koga usually waited for Folahan at this barber’s shop called Shirley’s Place and from there, they would proceed to a joint, Fair Lady where they would spend most of their time together. According to Fola, she was still under her parent’s thumb and so Koga was not allowed around her house. The first time he made it there was when she was ill and he was in the company of a friend Fola’s father knew and all Koga could do was sit and act like he didn’t know her.

Sharing some of their crazy moments with me, she told me of a time she travelled to Ibadan to attend his convocation but she didn’t tell a soul where she was going. After all, it was just an hour away from Lagos. Another time, she went to see him in Imo State where he was serving and the naughty girl lied that she was taking exams. No one knew where she was headed, except for Koga’s friend. Koga himself had no idea, as she wanted to pay him a surprise visit to ‘catch’ him unawares. Unknown to her, Koga had left Imo for Lagos that same day and since it was not the era of cell phones, there was no way they could communicate with each other.  Well, girlfriend had to wait for him to return on the third day and though, her surprise didn’t all work out as she had planned it, she enjoyed her time with him, from visiting the stream, to eating Igbo delicacies all over Orlu LGA.

Talking about their different personalities, she shares that in the beginning, his outspoken nature blended well with her shy disposition and though he was seven years older, ‘he treats me like we’re born the same day except when the male ego sets in.’

To Fola, Koga is all man. He took care of her needs and taught her how to manage wisely, the things she had. In addition, he also tutored her when she was preparing for her WAEC and JAMB since he studied sciences as she did.

When I think of this lovely couple, the song ‘5 & 6’ comes to mind. My husband I visited them a short while ago at their home in Isolo and had a wonderful time. There I met their two beautiful daughters that I instantly fell in love with. The first was born on the 12^th of November, just a day after Koga’s birthday; and the second came on the 29^th of October.

Recently, they celebrated their fifth anniversary. It was a surprise party that Fola threw for Koga and sadly, I missed it but when I asked her how it went, all she could say was that it was mad fun and Koga couldn’t stop expressing his surprise. The verdict: Fola is a wife for the long haul. Makes me wonder how many Nigerian women would go out of their way to plan a party for their husband from their own pockets. Oh yes, it was all on her.

Fola, Koga and friends at the surprise party

I have seen a lot of relationships and marriages and most times, I find one side settling for the other but it is not the case with Fola and Koga. You never really know where she ends and where he begins.  The day we visited, I saw something that I straightaway envied. Fola and Koga ate from the same plate and when she was trying to serve us the same way, I was like “uh-uh. My husband will finish everything before I bat an eye.”

Fola, Koga and kids at the surprise party

Stories like this should inspire us. Love does exist. It’s hard to find today but last I checked, the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west. The heart was made to beat for love and for life. Any other thing that makes it beat, makes it lose its natural rhythm.

There is no love without money, say the ‘wise ones’ of this age.

I couldn’t agree more. Watching Fola and Koga eat from the same plate, both accomplished people in their fields, I was reminded that love is a full package that comes with everything else. The Yorubas call it Fisi and the Hausas, gyara. Every other thing (money inclusive) will be added unto you when love comes first.

Koga and Fola, Happy Anniversary and many more wonderful years to come!

Afghanistan Memoirs (May He Be Your Sapper) by Leslie Dapwatda

21 MAR ’12
So the 19 of March we began our endless
journey to the Middle East. We had
a lay over at Gander international airport in
Canada (Newfoundland). I dont
know why they call it international airport, heck
I dont know why they call
it an airport at all. It was silent like a grave yard.
And seriously I
learnt something about North American
Geography that I never new
before…Took us about 7 hours to get to Gander
from SeaTac (Seattle,
Washington). And I also learnt to appreciate my
phone service provider some
more. Every body’s phone company was
charging them $9 – $15 per MB of data
and outrageous charges for calls but Verizon
was charging me $2.50 for data
and less a dollar for calls back to the states. Well we were in in Gander for about an hour before boarding our flight for
Germany. We had a 2 hour lay over in Liepsig. You gotta love this airport, there is always some activity going on every time we pass through here. Its either soldiers returning home from Iraq or Afghanistan or on their way to those locations. Last time I was here was on my way to Iraq November 2009 and on my way back to Iraq from R&R, May 2010. They had gift
shops with overpriced T shirts and snacks. I bought a bag of chips for almost
ten bucks! Are you serious?!!.
Well it was almost worth it since I slept half way through the flight from Canada to Germany and missed the food they served. It was a place where soldiers are literally robbed of their hard earned dollars. Phone calls were like $25 a minute, crazy!
Well we continued on with our journey to Manas International Airport in Kyrgistan in the former Soviet Union. We were
in Kyrgistan for two days. Manas was a drag, there were classes to sit in
(death by power point we’ll call it) and a lot of nonsense before we headed out
to KAF (Kandahar Air Field) in Afghanistan. This happens to be the biggest NATO FOB in
Afghanistan. BAF (Baghram Air Field) Is the
biggest US FOB in Afghanistan, but that is in the Northern part of Afghanistan, KAF is in the South.
At KAF we went through a lot of trainings that
involved my job, learning what has been going and getting acquainted with all the equipments I need to accomplish my mission as a Combat Engineer.

23 MAR ’12
Hey guys hope you are all doing fine this beautiful morning. It is still freezing cold and of course dusty here…lol. We got to Kandahar last night and are starting our trainings this morning
before heading out to our AO (Area of Operation). We miss home already, but God has been good.
Last night a buddy of mine that totally doesn’t
believe that prayer changes things asked if I could pray with him after we had a log discussion about sanctification and being restored to our original place as sons of God. I am excited and I ask you to please continue to
pray for us all especially my buddy. My mission got changed and I will be going to a different location and will be handling to missions at the same time; challenging but that is we do…
You know I was thinking recently about what we do as Combat Engineers (SAPPERS), we go ahead of all the soldiers, we
are first to go in and last to come out. Reason is we pave the way for everyone, clear the routes and still fight like infantry men (we are the only ones that can do our job and still do other people jobs, we are professionals)..lol So God reminded me that is exactly what He for His children, if we believe in Him, God always
goes ahead of us clearing the route for us as we
tag along behind Him. He leads the way we follow, He makes sure there is
no danger on the road as you walk down the path to/of your destiny. May He be your “SAPPER” leading you all they way and defending you from all enemy attacks today and always.
Amen!! IHMS

Check out Leslie’s website and blog:
www.lesliedapwatda.com
www.myspace.com/nolessinc
Follow him on Twitter @LeslieNoless

Afghanistan Memoirs (Dodged a Bullet) by Leslie Dapwatda

I had the privilege of knowing Leslie while he was in still Nigeria and we became really good friends and honestly, I miss him a lot. There  are some people who step into your life and leave an unforgettable mark in you. Leslie is that type of person. He’s a musician, a minister, a husband, a father and a soldier. He has graciously opened up his memoirs to share what he goes through at the front lines in Afghanistan.

DODGED A BULLET
My name is Leslie Dapwatda. I am a Second Lieutenant in the US Army. A Combat Engineer and a leader of men. I got my commission in November 2010 and got to my unit in August 2011 after graduating from the US Army Engineer School (Maneuver Support Center of Excellence) where I attended my Engineer Basic Officer Leaders Course (EBOLC). Before reporting I called my unit to get a status update, to find out what is going on and to give them my status update. When I called I got a fellow lieutenant who told me to get ready to deploy in November. When I got there I was told I wont be deploying, because the Brigades mission does not require a lot of engineers so they would only require 2 Platoons from my company to go and a couple of Squads with Lieutenants in charge of them as Task Force Engineers will support other Battalions that have no need for a combat En platoon. So I was left out of the equation, even though I was very fortunate to get a platoon immediately I got there. You gotta understand that when I got to my new unit there were about 5 other Engineer Lieutenants there waiting for Platoons. One of them was my class mate (OCS, EBOLC), and the other four had been there since the beginning of the year. Some were there November of 2010.
So my Platoon and I were told we weren’t deploying but I had to give up some of my guys to deploy with the other Platoons. There was so much craziness going on at the time. One morning I got called into my CO’s office and was told to get ready to deploy in three weeks. Within those three weeks I was to take my leave, get my medical check ups done and get my shots, get all my equipment ready and get my super Squad of 12 men ready to deploy. It was crazy but we got it all done and I was ready to deploy in three weeks as a Task Force Engineer with 5-20th IN BN, 3-2 SBCT. The duties of a Task Force Engineer includes Engineer planner for the Maneuver Commander, OIC for the super Squad, Engineer adviser, Project management and I will be in charge of route clearing missions.
On my return to JBLM I had a meeting with the BN S-3 and we discussed what kind of mission myself and my team would be involved with. Like I said earlier the job of an TF EN is primarily the EN Planner for the Maneuver Commander. But in this mission it also included me working as the EN adviser to the Commander on project (I will suggest project for the Afghans and then supervise the design and building of such project), maneuver, project management and route clearance for the whole BN In the meeting. I asked the S-3 what kind of equipment they got down rage, and I explained to him the impossibility of us conducting a route clearance mission with less than 24 soldiers. And he told me that our mission is going to be dismounted, meaning we would be conducting missions on foot and they have all the equipment needed for a dismounted route clearance. I left the meeting with an understanding of their intentions and got a picture of how our mission was going to be but we won’t be leaving with them that December, instead we will be joining them in January. So I took that opportunity and went home to be my family for Christmas. I came back ready to deploy and finally got slated to fly out on the 19 Jan 2012. A few days to departure we were told our flight was cancelled due to logistics and we were given a 10 day delay, that 29 Jan 2012 was our next hit time. That means we got our three different dates to deploy already, first two got cancelled. A few days to our departure we received news that there had been an IED (improvised explosive device) explosion and the soldiers were ambushed by the Taliban. There were casualties. Among them a Lt in the same BN (battalion) that we were to deploy with. Now if you remember our job as Engineers is to clear routes and that entails going ahead of the infantry guys and clearing the routes, picking out IED’s to make the road safe for them to accomplish their mission. In a nutshell if we had gone down range at the time we were supposed to go with the same BN, that would have been us right in front of the infantry LT that died, we would have been the ones right on the IED and in the middle of the ambush. We probably would have found the IED because it is our Job, but we would have still been in the middle of the ambush.
Now before my orders to deploy I declared a fast and was praying. So when the orders came and I knew I was deploying I continued to pray for safety in the deployment and that God will protect me and my soldiers. So when our flight dates kept getting cancelled I got stressed and frustrated, but still kept praying for God’s will. I was frustrated because it was costing me and my soldiers a lot of money. We cancelled our leases on our homes, cars, insurance on our cars were cancelled, single soldiers already had their properties picked up and put in storage and all. It was crazy and I had to deal with all that as their leader. It was frustrating. So when we received the news about the incident, God now reminded me that all delays are His ways of keeping us out of danger and protecting us like I prayed. He was simply answering my prayers.I immediately repented and realized that when we pray and believe, we receive and we need to be patient when things are happening. We need to sit back and relax and let God’s will play out. Was I sad to have lost a colleague? Yes, it is the most painful experience to lose someone in battle. But in the same breath I was and still am grateful to God that we weren’t there and He kept His word and saved us from death. We literally dodged a bullet and didn’t even know it.

Check out Leslie’s website and blog:
www.lesliedapwatda.com
www.myspace.com/nolessinc
Follow him on twitter @LeslieNoless