2012 in review

Hi guys!
I have had a wonderful year, thanks to y’all. Can’t wait to continue in 2013. I want to thank you for being with me throughout. Here’s a million hugs and kisses to lift and carry you into the new year.
Expect more short stories and articles from this page and please share with your friends 😀
Have a wonderful last day of 2012 and let the New Year bring all you ever dreamt of and even more delightful surprises at every turn.
Special thank you to Chux, Mercy, Uche, Su’eddie, Nene, Amelia, Owen, Marvey, Rhoda, Godiya and *clears throat* Jamila. And to all my secret followers…I see you..
Sally
Below is a full report of what went on here this year.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,100 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 10 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Malcolm's Blog

Recently, I had a discourse with a friend who is a member of the Nigerian Police Force. He was pointing out to me how unfair and lopsided the definition of rape under our Nigerian law is. This was something I had noticed many years ago while in the University but I didn’t really give it serious thought. A recent news report made me look into the issue a bit more seriously.

It was reported by Daily Post on the 17th of July, 2012 that in Ogbadibo Local Government Area of Benue State, a man was allegedly raped to death in the early hours of Tuesday by his six wives. He had returned late that night from a beer parlour where he usually hung out and headed to the room of his youngest wife to have sex with her when his other wives, armed with sticks and knives demanded that he…

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Brotherhood – 2 by Shai

WebThe Brotherhood sent Chike to deliver their message. Tunde could still remember….his memory of that afternoon’s discussion causing him to smile to himself as he hit his home-bound stretch.

                 *****

“Tunde, my friend before before,” Chike bellowed as he barged into his office that Friday afternoon.

He was always doing that Tunde reflected as he continued his run.  He had looked up from the legal deposition papers he was working on, the smile beginning to form at the edge of his mouth chasing away his feigned annoyance at the intrusion. It was evidence of his obvious pleasure at seeing his childhood friend.

“Chike, enyim. My brother from another mother. The only Igbo brother I can vouch for, who would not scam me.”

Nna, na me be dat,” Chike replied as they clasped hands and engaged in theirbrotherhood embrace. “But na before before o. I no fit talk if you be my broda again.” The expression on his face changed to a serious one as he scanned the room. It was like he expected someone or something to spring out from some corner of the office.

The accusation though was delivered with a touch of mockery, this supported with side eye look Chike gave him. It was so comical that they both burst into rapturous laughter.

“In fact, the rest of the boys feel so aggrieved that you have missed three straight weeks of our usual ritual.”

“Ha, but you guys know….”

“We no longer know anything,” Chike cut him off. “We thought we knew. But now, no one’s sure. There had been talk that we should remove you sef, as you seem to have found yourself some new friends and modes of entertainment.”

“Haba, Chyke. But, even Lamu knows that where I stay now is like in the bush. He should have at least explained to you guys. Getting home sometimes na mini-war. You guys know am not as rich as the rest of you na.

He had tried to make light of the situation, but one look at Chike’s face had told him he was not going to get off lightly.

“When I say there had been talk, you should understand. In fact, I have been sent to talk to you about it. We have all come a long way, as friends, and now as brothers. I was mandated to talk to you and try and convince you to make amends for your abstinence. Either that or you are ex-communicated.”

Tunde had recoiled in his seat in stunned silence looking at Chike. He knew he had stayed away from the brotherhood for a while, but he had hoped they will understand. Considering how they all have complained about the distance and the state of the road to his new place during his house-opening party, they should understand he will need some time to settle down. To get his bearing and re-evaluate his schedules. Plus, work had been crazy lately. Not with all the cases flooding into his law firm. Things were looking up, and looking up meant more court appearances, negotiations and studies.

He could see Chike was not comfortable with his mission; he tried  to avoid eye contact and continuously shifted around in his chair.

Finally, Tunde had sat back in his seat and roared with laughter. That reaction had totally surprised Chike, who looked at him quizzically not sure what to make of the whole situation.

“Let me get you something to drink.” He didn’t wait for him to accept before pressing a hidden button on his side of the large worktable. Chike beamed with pleasure. He knew the trick with the hidden button, a trick that amazed a lot of other clients and visitors who came to Tunde’s office.

A smartly dressed, beautiful young lady appeared a few seconds later, to the uninitiated it would have appeared to them like she came without any apparent bidding.

“Bring two bottles of shine shine bobo. If the roast chicken from yesterday is still left, micro wave it and bring it along too.”

“Yes sir.”

“You lucky bastard,” Chike chuckled after the secretary had gone. “When I didn’t  see anyone at the front desk when I came in, I thought you were shagging your secretary in here. I wanted to catch you with your hands in the cookie jar, or your dick in the honey pot as it were.”

Tunde waved an admonishing finger at him.

“What?” Chike had feigned annoyance, “God saved you I didn’t catch you. Where do you find all these young and beautiful ladies from sef? This one is even new, fresh meat.

“Chyke!”

“What? Don’t Chyke me jooor. You lucky devil.”

They had both laughed, sensible enough to tone down when the drinks and chicken arrived. The secretary poured each a glass of beer and then retreated back to the outer office.

“Chike, you don’t cease to amaze me. See how your eyes were all over my secretary. Even in my presence ehn! I won’t be liable to any paternity suits or even be willing to represent you in one o. 

“Don’t worry. I know it when I am warned.” He shot a knowing wink at Tunde before sipping from his glass.

“Now, about this ex-communication business. You and I will leave here together to see the boys. It is not intentional. It is just that the reality of moving around between the geographical extremes of my abode and my work and social life is nothing short of daunting. But, tonight I’ll try and make it up to all of you.”

“Good, very good”

It was how Tunde had found himself at the newly opened Las Vegas club at Opebi link that Friday night with the rest of the brotherhood crew; Phillip, Lamurin, Baker and Wole. Six young guys who knew how to party. Guys with the whole world before them. They had been friends right from secondary school and carried it on since then. Even through university and now that each was making minor waves in their respective fields.

Lamurin Odutayo is an upcoming neuro-surgeon, with considerable talents. Thirty years old, he is tall at six feet one inch. He has dark, glistening skin and his fashionable medicated glasses always give him a distinguished look. In their circle, strangers tend to demure to him more. He had that sort of academic look that brooks no argument.

Phillip Nkwocha is short and clean-shaven and thirty. His eyes sometimes bordered on the verge of perpetual squints. Narrow and piercingly cold when he really stares down on people. As a contractor, they were his greatest assets. In negotiations, his eyes have won him more lucrative deals than he could count. He jokes about how people shit in their pants when they seat across him at negotiation tables. Of course, his successes were only due in part to his eyes; in larger parts they were due to a retinue of girls he has at his disposal.

Pawns has he liked to call them. They help smoothen the way with key stakeholders in whatever deals he is engaged in, while fat cheques he is willing to part with does the rest.

Baker Fapoki is a banker. He was not born in the country. His parents were actually African-Americans, but the kind who staunchly believed in their African heritage. They had migrated to Nigeria when Baker was two, taken up a very original Nigerian Yoruba name – Fapoki. They however retained the oyinbo name Baker, as a courtesy to their son who was after all an American. The idea was to allow him make his own choice to change it if he so wishes when he is of age. Baker is a handsome thirty three year old, of average height and that skin complexion commonly referred to as half-caste.

They had all been in awe of Baker from when he came to join them in class four at St. Thomas Aquinas Primary school. No one of them had seen a boy with such white skin and wavy hair. The respect had firmly been established by his readiness to part freely with money and gifts, and also his ruthless way of dealing with those who thought they could take advantage of his soft features.

Wole Orimofe is the flashiest of them all. He runs a number of landed warehouses and haulage trucks. He is also the fattest in the group. Almost in the Rick Ross mold. Because of his size, he had an unusal advantage over the rest of them when it came to their drinking fests. But, they all try to keep up. Where they cannot beat him to the lagers, they punish him with the spirits.

Their own brotherhood was peculiar and with very specific, non-negotiable codes.

Every time they went out together, the drinking was no holds-barred. Each one had to drink whatever was ordered by any of them. And the ordering was done in round-robin fashion. Depending on how they started the drinking, each round of drinks comes to an end the moment one of them finishes his. At that point every one has to gulp his own drink, awaiting the next round of orders. No one left the table until the de facto leader, Baker called for adjournment.

Another part of the code was that none of them ever went home alone. To do so will be to attract a hefty fine. All brotherhood members had to have acquired sidekick, a female companion, by whatever means in the course of the evening.

And since they usually left clubs, parties or whatever social engagements together a defaulter was easy to spot. The fine being that such defaulter has to go away with twosidekicks on their next night out.

It was fun with the boys, Tunde thought to himself. He took another time check, it was almost five thirty and he had better start heading back for home. He likes to take the path by the small stream home.

As he took the short footpath that will lead him to the stream, from where he will climb the wooden bridge across thereby cutting his return trip by half, he smiled inwardly to himself.

It was another Friday. Another time out with the brotherhood.

He was back in the grove.

Shai

I consider myself more of a poetry craftsman. Only started writing prose seriously in July. 2012. I also like to think I am a very friendly person- weird to some people.

 

However, weird only means I am unique and that makes me happy whenever I hear it. You can follow my works on www.shaiontheprowl.com or via twitter @shaiotheprowl.

 

Free to add me up 2796f571, am always looking to make new friends.

Brotherhood by Shai (Featured Blogger)


My first featured blogger this month is Shai. Before I bring you Fish Brain Games, enjoy his work!

The morning air is fresh as usual. It is yet to get to that part of the day when it is distorted by all the pollutants you can possibly think of. Even the birds understand this and they sing gaily, if only for a few hours before other sounds wake up to drown out their joyous songs.

It is a cool morning, the breeze gently caressing and not too chilly; the kind of morning pregnant with the promise of rain sometime later in the day. It is one of those glorious morning atmosphere which should be protectively nurtured and allowed to fully express itself to all of mankind. Giving them the full benefit of basking in it’s cool, clear and crisp sweetness; before giving way to other unpleasantness the day has got to offer.

But ironically,  it is man who is the greatest enemy to such mornings as this. It won’t be long now before the different noises that heralds the waking of the man begins to manifest.

Tunde took a deep whiff at the fresh morning air, he allowed himself a lung-full before stepping out of his gates.  He locked the gate and starts his routine morning  jog. He likes it when it is this peaceful in the morning. Before the madness of the early morning rush. He mentally times himself. Thirty minutes before he joins in the mad rush himself.

For now, most of mankind is still asleep. At least, it is in this small settlement called Oreta; a small outlying suburb of a sub-urban town of Ikorodu in Lagos. It is one of those places that is just beginning to witness a semblance of development – infrastructural and social wise. It is a town where the people, the original inhabitants have refused to let go of old mundane ways. They still place sacrifices at T-junctions, they announce curfews for traditional festivals and other fetish purposes – even the only road that serves as entry and exit route to the settlement seem specifically designed to discourage strangers and new settlers. It is torture for cars to ply the road; much worse during rainy seasons.

Despite this, the settlement is fast losing its arcane outlook. It is fast growing and even the archaic practices of the original settlers have not dissuaded people to penetrate Oreta, with the hope of settling down and making it the foundation of their family roots. It can no longer be referred to as a settlement, at least not in the real sense of the word. In recent years, it has been flooded with newcomers who have discovered its lands were far cheaper alternatives to landed assets in other parts of the state.

And amongst the newcomers are those who own cars, generators, those who set up saw mills, block making industries and even small road side canteens. These people were the ones who had brought strange noises and other industrial pollutants which makes enjoying such glorious morning, as the one which Tunde had woken up to, flitting and soon forgotten.

Tunde is also a new comer, but prides himself as a lover of nature. He took pains to minimize his intrusion on his natural surroundings. It is this new found love of nature that drove him to instal solar panels, generating his alternative source of power from the sun rather than a noisy, smoky generating set.

Moving down here has given him a better sense of appreciation for nature. Delighting in little things he took for granted in the past. At least, he can take morning jogs now.

His thoughts were filled with these musings as he turned at the far end of the long, jagged road into another that takes him on a circuitous route that flanks the town at its outermost periphery.

He is thirty three, single and moved into the town about three months ago. The decision to move had been borne out of necessity. The owner of the house he rented in Ikeja had threatened him with eviction on two occasions. But, last year had been the last straw for Tunde Badmos. His financial situation had been a bit rough, considering he just started his own law firm and clientele was still low.

With the help of his buddy, Lamurin he had gotten two plots of land here and through Baker, another buddy was able to source a mortgage.

Now things are looking up and he is always busy. His clients demanding, the hours crazy.

Tunde Badmos smiled. Things are not bad at all.

 His flat-soled running shoes continues to pound the uneven asphalt. His heartbeat in rhythmic sequence with the soft, thudding  noise made by his shoes.

Everything was fine, the fact he lived so far away from the usual hustle and bustle of central Lagos had been more of a blessing. He had drastically cut down on his late night-outs, the debauchery he and his friends engaged in on weekends have become a thing of the past.

”Well, not entirely.” He muttered as he looked at the luminous dials of his quartz sports runner  watch.

5.12 a.m it read.

He swung his arms as he initiated another sequence in his running exercises.

All those late night escapades with the boys have reduced to the extent that Chike was sent to his office to frontally accuse him of deserting the brotherhood.

Tunde smiled to himself. The brotherhood.

His own personal safety net against the world and its troubles….

 

Shai

I consider myself more of a poetry craftsman. Only started writing prose seriously in July. 2012. I also like to think I am a very friendly person- weird to some people.

 

However, weird only means I am unique and that makes me happy whenever I hear it. You can follow my works on www.shaiontheprowl.com or via twitter @shaiotheprowl.

 

Free to add me up 2796f571, am always looking to make new friends.

 

DottaRaphels

It’s so scary out here as I make this journey all alone. I think back to those early days when we had unity and courage to thread uncharted grounds. The thrill was in the ignorance of not knowing where our journey would take us. I remember your words so clearly now…leap of faith you called it.

Look at you and me now, who has given up? You promised to be my all and in all. You lifted me so high and let go so that I could crash. Yes! You, you did it all. Why? Because I found a voice. You call it jaded, an illusion; a trick of my mind. Still, you have refused to prove or show me why it is so.

Do you remember the way you used to be? I always relied on your strength to carry me even through the roughest rides, and you always…

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DottaRaphels

How do you live an average life and convince yourself its okay? How is it possible to believe you are being fair by denying yourself a chance at real happiness? How dare you say those words to me, when the real meaning eludes you?

No matter how you have come to perfect your demeanor and your responses, you still cannot cheat your heart. Yes! That is your punishment for all the deceit and pretense.

Like an android you go about in your world of perfect falsehood. Who’s fooling who? They all see through you and laugh at you, because they think you see yourself as the martyr. They all but him, the one you say holds your heart. His words are sweet, filled with promises of bliss and eternal calm. They fall out freely without strain and hold you captive to his stay. This he does expertly, because he knows…

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